The Deepest Cut
by mabelreid
Summary: One Shot. Reid has been kidnapped and tortured more times then we can count in Fan fiction. Now he's about to lose something that could break him.


_**A/n hey all, the only excuse I give for this, is that I was attacked by random plot bunnies very early this morning. This pretty AU but follows cannon somewhat up through the current season.**_

_**Disclaimer: Criminal Minds is the property of CBS No copyright infringement is intended with this posting.**_

The sound of the old wooden door going down to the concrete floor, echoed through the large, filthy room. Shouts of "Freeze FBI" and "Freeze Police," rang out to mix with the yells of Todd Jeremiah, the man they hunted for over two weeks.

Reid curled up tighter in a ball to block out what he was sure was more wishful thinking. How long had he been chained to this white washed wall, lying on the same cot that had been his home for days or maybe weeks? He didn't know for sure.

There were shouts from Morgan he thought, slamming through the room, and then there was a hand on his shoulder. It was real then, and not his mind playing tricks.

"Go away…" He whimpered. "Please don't look at me."

"Reid… its Morgan… You gotta let me take these restraints off. We gotta get you out of here."

Reid tightened the blanket around him and over his head. "Take them off, but don't look at me!"

He felt his friend pulling his arm away from his head. There was a clink, and the metallic click of locks falling away. As soon as his arms were free, he pulled away from Morgan, and tried to disappear into the blanket.

"Reid… You have to let us help you."

"Don't look at me!" Reid shouted hoarsely. "Don't touch me… Just go away!"

"You have to let the medics help you."

"Please… I don't want anyone to look at me."

"Reid…"

"Morgan…" Hotch's voice was behind them. "Let the medics look at him. Come out here and help us."

Reid heard his friend cursing and Emily speaking softly to Rossi. Their voices moved off and unfamiliar hands pulled at the blanket that covered his body. It slipped down over his head to his shoulders and off his body.

"Oh my God…" The voice said and Reid began to sob.

--

Reid refused to be taken out on the stretcher. He sat on the edge of the cot with the blanket pulled around his body, with his face covered. The medics and Hotch convinced him to walk to the ambulance that was waiting outside.

"What's wrong with him?" Morgan asked one of the medics, through clenched teeth as the young man climbed into the back of the vehicle and turned his back on his team.

The medic looked a little green around the gills. "He made me promise not to tell you. He wants to see the doctors first." The medic swallowed hard. "It's terrible sir… I've never seen anything like it."

They clamored up into the bus and the team watched them drive away. They looked at each other and Hotch said. "Let's just go to the hospital and we'll deal with whatever Jeremiah did to him."

"Yeah… we'll help him through it." Emily said.

--

Reid lay on his back on the hospital bed. The team was going to be there at any minute and he was going to have to pretend that he was okay, that it didn't matter. Maybe he should just quit this job and go back to academic life. He was so tired of being systematically stripped of everything that was important. He'd lost his dad. His mother was as good as gone. A mad man had nearly stolen his sanity, and his sobriety, and now this. This was the last straw! It wasn't fair.

--

JJ met the team at the hospital. She was banned from raids as she was five months pregnant. She'd been dealing with the press, and the rumors that the FBI's golden boy had been terribly disfigured. She flew into the waiting room, leading with the tiny baby bump that showed under her pink blouse.

"How is he?" She demanded of Hotch.

The rest of the team had been told the news and were sitting stunned in a line against one wall.

"Come with me…" Hotch took her aside and explained what had happened.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she spoke. "Can I see him?"

"Yes… we've been waiting for you to get here."

Hotch found Dr Wilson and introduced JJ. "This is Dr. Reid's wife, our communications liaison, Jennifer Jareau."

"It's nice to meet you ma'am. Do you prefer Agent Jareau, or Mrs. Reid?"

"You can just call me JJ… May I see my husband now?"

They left Hotch behind and walked down the tiled hallway. "My boss told me what happened to Spence. What can you tell me?'

"I've seen cases before like this. It's a terrible thing that has happened. Right now he's still accepting it. You need to go in there and show him that you love him in spite of the changes. He needs you to be strong for him."

"Okay…" JJ took in a big breath as they came to Spencer's hospital room.

She put one hand on her abdomen and put the other one on the door and pulled it open.

--

He heard the door open and quailed inside. It was someone else on the hospital staff come in to gawk at him. Why couldn't they just leave him alone? He wasn't that hideous!

"Spence…"

Oh God it was JJ… He wasn't ready to see her yet.

"Go away and don't look at me." His arms covered his head and he'd twisted up into a ball like a pill bug.

"No… I love you baby. Please look at me."

"I don't want you to see me this way."

"Please Spence I need you, and so does the baby."

Oh God… the baby… How was he supposed to be happy about the baby when he looked like a freak? The baby was going to have a father that was a freak.

"Baby… Hotch told me what happened. I love you and I always will. Please don't let a psycho come between us!"

He wanted to see those beautiful eyes and her smile. He wanted to see the baby bump she'd begun to get in the last weeks. He wanted to see her and her lovely hair. He had to trust that she was going to stand by him. He rolled over and put his arms down so that she could see what Todd Jeremiah had done to him.

She stood there with the same smile she saved for him, the one that said that she loved him above all others. Her eyes told the story though. She could see the terrible thing that had happened to him. Her eyes were trying to smile, but there was horror there as well.

"You're disgusted with me. I can see it in your eyes."

"No… I just have to get used to it. It'll be okay Spence."

"It won't be. It's hideous!"

"You've had short hair before Spence. You'll get used to it again."

"Never this short… I look like Hotch, like some generic business man or G-man. I might as well go out and buy suits! I look like I'm still in college for God's sake."

"It'll grow back."

"Not fast enough to hide my giraffe neck! What am I going to do when the baby comes? He or she will be here before this grows back"

JJ sat on the chair next to his bed. "It's going to be okay. The baby is going to love you no matter what. I still love you very much, so trust in that."

Reid reached out for her hand and clasped it tight. She didn't pull away, so he had hope that he wasn't completely hideous.

"He made me watch…"

"What…" JJ asked squeezing his hand tightly.

"He made me watch him cut off my hair. He was going to cut my throat too. I talked him out of it. When he saw how upset I was by this." Reid ran his free hand through his very short locks. "He decided to leave me alive. He said it was the worst punishment he could come up with."

"Oh honey… it's going to be okay. All of your friends will still love you."

"The doctor has set up an appointment for me with Dr. Frank… He's a psychiatrist. I don't want to see him!"

"You have too… You're going to suffer from PTSD, and this time we're going to make sure you don't go through it alone.

"I love you JJ…"

"I love you too Spence. It's going to be okay!"


End file.
